Yuck

I really need help. My food addiction is controlling me. I've been in a 12-step program for food addiction for 6 weeks and its not getting any easier. I feel like me 15 years of recover from alcohol are meaningless. Have I really learned nothing? Have I learned too much?


With food, it seems that the most important thing is to stay in the moment, but that is the hardest thing for me to do. I think of dinner, of lunch, of the desert I can't have, the chocolate I wish I could have. I breath, deeply, and try to stay in the right now. Look at the mountains – breathe in the trees – hug my children – focus on all the sensations and beauty around me right now.

But the rising anxiety attacks me, it takes me over like a black ooze, starting in the pit of my stomach and rising up to my head. My thoughts race. My heart beats.

God could and would if He were sought.

Please. Do so soon.