I admit it. And it really stinks to admit it. I define myself by other people's approval. Then, I over analyze people's actions to make them fit in one of two categories: they approve of me / they reject me.
I completely make up the rules, and they will change on a daily basis. You may find I am upset with you for rejecting me, and feel confused because you didn't even know you were rejecting me.
Of course you didn't know, silly, I make up these rules as I go along. Most of the time, I will find a way to feel rejected. Then, it will be your fault. Not mine. Why? Because you are the big meany and I am the victim.
You are the big meany who took and took, and I am the selfless champion who gave and gave. Then, you slighted me, snubbed me, took advantage of me, rejected me, hurt my feelings.
WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME?
Because you are a BIG FAT MEANY.
So, I wrote a little poem for you called….
Big Fat Meany
I try so hard to please the world
And fall flat on my face
It may seem unreasonable
That I blame the human race
It could NOT be
That it IS me
So I'll blame you instead
You are the Big Fat Meanie
And I am sick in the head
I seem to have a partner in this co-dependency shit. Great poem! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteLove the poem! We are all guilty of that behavior from time to time. Recognizing it is the key!
ReplyDeletei know what this is like! i gave you one of my weekly awards which you can collect anytime you like, if you like.
ReplyDeletehappy blogging!
Some days you're the windshield, some days you're the bug. It's always too hard to please everyone every day, so I decided that, if I can look in the mirror and like the person I see, I am OK and anybody that doesn't like it...well, they just don't have good taste ;=)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much everyone for your comments. I'm glad to know I'm not alone.
ReplyDelete