Recovery Mommy

When you have children, and you wake up in the morning, and they have crawled into bed with you. Snuggled warmly against you, with their perfect, sleeping, angel faces just inches from yours – that is peace and joy only a parent will ever know.

Being a parent teaches you that its not always about YOU. That there are bigger problems than the person who pissed you off at work, than the guy who cut you off in traffic. There is homework to be done, baths to give, hugs to share, artwork to do, laughs to lose yourself in.

As a woman in recovery, it is difficult to balance my commitment to my children, and my commitment to a fellowship that saved my life, and gave me the tools to be a wonderful mother. We must learn that the hour we miss of time to go to a meeting or work with a newcomer, gives a more present, meaningful, precious hour with our families.

I struggle with this, because I don't want to spend one extra moment away from my children. Circumstances mean I have to work; a job that is beautifully flexible some days, and incredibly demanding on other days. But when I take the time to honor my recovery, I honor my family more.

This doesn't mean that my children are recovery orphans, which I have seen happen too many times over the years. It means that they are my priority, my gauge. When my daughter is telling me an amazing story about the story she read in school, and my son is singing me a song he learned in Mandarin class, and I can't pay attention because my mind is running at 100 miles an hour….it is time for a meeting.

When the house is a mess, and my children look like refugees…it's time for a meeting.

When we've eaten chicken and broccoli for the third day in a row because I'm exhausted, it's time for a meeting.

And after I honor my recovery, I come home to the world's best hugs and have a clearer perception.

Look at this. Look at these amazing beings. What a gift of recovery.

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