We Are At Step One

I’ve been really on edge about the compulsive eating, wanting to shove sweets in my mouth constantly, berating myself, rationalizing, arguing, literally holding myself back from eating my trigger foods. In other words, it hasn’t been easy this week at all.

Here is an excerpt from the AA 12x12 that helps me: (words changed)

Who cares to admit complete defeat? Practically no one, of course. Every natural instinct cries out against the idea of personal powerlessness. It is truly awful to admit that, food in  hand, we have warped our minds into such an obsession for destructive drinking that only an act of Providence can remove it from us.
No other kind of bankruptcy is like this one. Food, now become the rapacious creditor, it bleeds us of all self-sufficiency and will to resists its demand. Once this stark fact is accepted, our bankruptcy as going human concerns is complete.
Upon entering AA we soon take quite another view of this absolute humiliation. We perceive that only through utter defeat are we able to take our first steps toward liberation and strength. Our admission of personal powerlessness finally turn out to be the firm bedrock upon which happy and purposeful lives may be built.

Today I have to remember that I am defeated. It is only through this utter defeat that The One Who Has All Power can rebuild me. The rationalization stops when I remember to tell myself that I am sick, I have a disease. The medicine is eating food that nourishes, prayer, meditation, and reaching out to those who can understand the awesome nature of this journey.

1 comment:

  1. thank you once again for sharing your thoughts and ideas....

    I have found for me that I had to move into a space even deeper within me to become the person I wanted to be. It was a joy to realize that "A power greater than myself" was in fact "deep within me...." and therefore in fact was my essence.

    Knowing this, it was relatively easy to see that the "self" little "s" self was indeed under the guidance and direction of the "S" "capital" S Self. This is synonymous with the "I AM".

    Again I applaud you for looking within where all answers are present along with all the questions also. The statement "I Am the problem and I Am the Solution" resolves most all consternation I can dream up......said in a more understandable way, it comes out; "God Is...I Am"

    Love and Light,
    richard aka ezduzit777
    you will find my blog "Is there more than the 12 Steps?" at