Financial Fourth Step

$20,000 in medical bills have forced me into bankruptcy, and a fearless and searching moral inventory. Never before have I so understood "fearless and searching."

Its terrifying. When the phone rings and I have to talk to that creditor and search out and find all my debt, it terrifies me.

But today I realized how much this resistance to completing this work has affected every area of my life. One has only so much spiritual and mental energy, and the longer I prolong getting well in this area, the harder all other areas of my life will be.

I've realized that with alcohol and food. When I have serenity in those areas, it allows me to focus and develop serenity in other areas. Now I must face one of my biggest fears, and I finally see the hope in the work. Not only will my family be more financially secure – but I will no longer be trapped by the past or future. I will be more present. The present is the gift.

Photo from Monday Morning Clacker

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