5/14/11

My Name is Lisa

I’ve been silent for a while on my blog. Why? Because my path right now is me dealing with a part of myself that I still have a lot of shame about. Not alcohol. Not even bipolar. What, then, is more shameful than that?
I am a food addict.
I have touched on that briefly before, but for the past few months I have been in Food Addict ER (as my sponsor calls it) and the work has been intense. However, one step still remains difficult for me, and that is admitting that I am a Food Addict.
That means I’m a fatty. A slob. A sloth. A glutton.
Now, I understand that none of these are actually true INTELLECTUALLY, but emotionally it feels that way. Admitting that, left to my own devices I can clear out a pan of brownies because of the feeling it gives me is a hard truth to admit.
I obsess over chips in a bowl. How many should I eat? Is anyone noticing how much I am eating?
I am always “too tired” to prepare healthy, nourishing meals for myself. I am lazy. I just want to throw food in my mouth and stuff myself sick and be done with it.
So, there it is. I am a food addict.
Perhaps now I can get on with the business of blogging.

2 comments:

  1. Hi Lisa! I am proud of you! You just took a HUGE step!

    Love and peace to you dear! Get back to blogging!

    ReplyDelete
  2. hi Lisa, there is so much personal strength in this dear lady.

    love to you..
    & a hug........

    sue xx

    ReplyDelete