Self-Restraint

"…when we approach AA's Step Ten we commence to put our AA way of living to practical use, day by day, in fair weather or foul. Then comes the acid test: can we stay sober, keep in emotional balance, and live to good purpose under all conditions?"

I have been working on a financial fourth step, but ignoring my spiritual, daily tenth step in the process. I sometimes feel so tired at the end of the day, I forget, or ignore, this daily reflection. However, it is so important that we take a few minutes each day to center ourselves, connect with our spirituality, and exam what we did well, and what we could do better each day.

Here is why it is so important for me.

First, I tend to rerun the screw up in my head over...and over...and over…and I never actually gain any useful perspective. Second, I never take the time to honor what I am doing well in my life.

Each week I pick a spiritual focus in my life, and this week it's about Step Ten (and for you non-AA readers: "Step Ten, Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."

There are myriad of spiritual ideals that we reflect on each day, but I will focus on one at a time. The first is: Did I practice self restraint?

AA 12x12, p 91 "Our first objective will be the development of self-restraint.

Self-restraint is important, especially right now as I'm dealing with setting boundaries and creating more balance in my life. Not only must I ask myself;

• Did I act hastily or rashly?
  
• Did I make any snap judgments?
  
• Did I restrain myself in both tongue and pen?
  
• Did I avoid quick tempered criticism and furious power-driven argument?
  
• The same goes for sulking and silent scorn.
  

"These are emotional booby traps baited with pride and vengefulness. Our first job is side step traps. When we are tempted by the bait, we should train ourselves to step back and think. For we can neither think nor act to good purpose until the habit of self-restraint has become automatic."

For me, restraint is not only about not bursting out with anger, criticism, and judgment; but also about pausing before I say YES or let someone walk all over my boundaries.

I did some journaling on these points today, then meditated for clarity on how to improve this area of my life. I'm already out of the funk that I was starting to slip into!