Sad Songs

I lived my life without a father. My “adopted” father took off when I was three, never to be seen again. In my late 20’s I sought a therapist to work on my “daddy issues” …until such time my therapist said, “You’re fine…you don’t need to see me anymore.”

Three weeks later I found my birth-father, quite by accident.

As we got to know one another, it was quite evident that I was not “fine” – there was still an immense amount of healing to be done. I didn’t know how to let him, he didn’t know how to include me in his full life. He was suspicious, I was wary.

In the end it just didn’t work. He doesn’t answer my phone calls. I quit returning his letters.
We were very different. It makes me sad still, that the fatherless child who felt rejected…was in fact really rejected. That is the danger of finding one’s birth parents.

On the other hand, I have been blessed with knowing my birth-mother and my wonderful brother and sister.

Anyhow, I was listening to Pandora today and heard this song. Our love of Keane was the only thing my father and I ever really had in common…this song makes me sad.


  1. It has taken me a few days to gel my thoughts....

    The last time I saw my "real" father was when he was led from the home in handcuffs. He was being arrested for beating my mother, actually she pounded him, but that is another set of thoughts. I never saw him alive after that.

    Some years later while in the US Navy and fully into the "more alcohol" life style, I was notified of his death. So what? It made no difference to me. I was to learn to regret that thinking many yars later in recovery. I allowed my older brother to bury my father in a "paupers grave" and good riddance.

    Years later in recovery I could not get over the thinking of; "how do I make amends to a dead father that I don't like much less love?".....

    I little old wise lady ask me if I had tried prayer. I spit back in her face, "Of course." to which she replyed, "no honey I meant sincere prayer". sighhhhhhh my answer was; "I dont even know what that is."

    Well a few minutes later with the aid of a little old wise man I found out......and we all lived happily ever after. Actually that is true.

    The spirit of my father and I are very much in tune and happy.

    My mother lived to be 93 and I was at her side when she made her transition. She told she loved the idea that I and My Father are One.....as she slipped into unconsciousness I tried to ask her if she meant my human father or my Divine Father.....she just smiled and passed on.

    Today I read blogs such as this and am truly happy to remember....and I bless and thank all of you for continually giving me the opportunity to be happy with my thoughts.

    Love and Light

    See the recovery blog "Is there more that the 12 Steps?" at:

  2. That really touched me, thanks for sharing. It makes me realise how lucky I am and reminds me not to take things for granted.

    I just found your blog and I love the design, it's very elegant.