Do I know why I spend all day isolating in my room?
I did so because I felt exhausted, tired, depressed, and worthless.
This too shall pass.
I wrote two posts this week that were deeply personal and gut-wrenchingly honest. They were well read. I received many comments. I felt exposed.
Feeling exposed made me want to isolate and hide.
So, I gave myself a day. I spent this evening reflecting on the WHY –the ROOT.
Now I have to ask myself, "SO WHAT? NOW WHAT?!?"
That has been the little phrase that has kept me going for years. So what…things happen. The feelings I have I came by honestly. Are those feelings going to run my life?
Absolutely NOT. I go to bed with a strong decision that tomorrow I will tackle all the things that I was hiding from today. A little bit at a time. With a smile, and the knowledge that GOD COULD AND WOULD IF HE WERE SOUGHT.
And I will remember, that I can be as miserable as I choose to be – or as happy as I choose to be.
The choice is mine. So, now what?
I tend to focus on the how. Maybe that's where I go wrong!
ReplyDeleteI rarely focus on how :) I suppose wu wei takes care of that!
ReplyDeleteI *had* to focus on the whys in orders to understand why I was the way I was. Once I figured all that out I understood myself to a much greater degree and the depression lifted. Keep in mind, that process took years and was difficult at best. However, it paid off and I'm much more positive and fulfilled now than I've ever been before in my life.
ReplyDeletebtw: your blog is looking GOOD! I love the template design. :-)
Such truth in your posts, and it sounds as if you're on the right path, keep going :o)
ReplyDelete@Recovery Girl - Step Four helps me see the why. for me, I tend to wallow in why and not move on. It does take years, but it is well worth it.
ReplyDelete