Angry

salvador dali

I had one of those really icky dreams last night. The kind where you wake up feeling a pit in your stomach, grateful it wasn't real…but still can't shake the feeling.

The last few days I've been in a funk. OK, the last week.



 I realized I'm so ANGRY. I'm working on my fourth step…you know, that searching and fearless moral inventory. Where we in 12-step programs list our resentments, our fears, the harm we have done to others.

I've done this many times in the 15 years I've been sober, but this time I'm remembering things I didn't even know I was resentful/hurt about. The past few days they've been welling up and I'm now a walking ball of anger.

This tells me it is time to move on to Step Five…to share this with God and another human being. Otherwise, there will quickly be more on the list, under the harm other category.

It's difficult for me to blog that I'm feeling so much anger. But I am. I am pissed, feeling victimized, alone. This too shall pass, of that I am sure. But, this too is where I am right now.