Rocketed Into The Fourth Dimension

We live in a world of fear. Everywhere you turn, there is anger, jealousy, separation, anxiety; all derivative of fear. Fear of not having enough and/or being enough. We are all sensitive to it. The news speaks it, the economy breeds it, and the crime personifies it. We are a world trapped in fear, because we are in the world. We exist, for the most part, in the three dimensional existence of the physical world – trying desperately to make sense of the injustice, the death, the cruelty through relationships with money, sex, food, power, prestige.

Some of us try desperately to step back, live a different life, to find peace in the pandemonium.

In AA there is a promise that, if we align our will with God’s will, take certain steps, we will be rocketed into the fourth dimension. Where is that fourth dimension? It is here, now, but it is a new perception of the world. We step aside from the fear and all its myriad forms and we choose to live in a different place. A place of love, grace, and joy. When we become aggressively committed to living in Love as a terrorist is committed to spreading hate and fear, only then can Love win.

To live “in-love” we are gentle, kind, we keep no record of wrongs. We are patient; we do not envy, or boast. Love rejoices with the truth, always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. It starts with a decision, to no longer live in the three dimensional world, to step back as an observer who brings only love to each situation. The physical world is always fighting, wooing, calling us back with false promises. We must strive always, in all ways, to shift our perceptions to a different plane, a higher place, a loving plane.

In modern physics, space and time are unified in a four-dimensional Minkowski continuum called spacetime, whose metric treats the time dimension differently from the three spatial dimensions. This is a geometric representation of four dimensions. Four dimensional space (in the most simple, non-scientific terms) is the use of four parameters to specify a point. Notice as the four dimensional shape rotates the perception of the shape also changes. In the three dimensional world the shape is a cube. In a four dimensional world (with the additional point of reference) it is so much more. 

Positive Energy

Its funny how things inspire you…and give you that aha moment. I was watching Oprah last week, and saw this video of Oprah’s talk with a ten-year-old that tried to kill his mother when he was seven. It was eye opening to see not only how mental illness is real, can start young, but  also the techniques he was taught to cope with his anger.

I had been using similar techniques to eradicate all my negative thinking from my life. I spend so much time putting myself down, it is no wonder I am sometimes hit hard by depression. There can simply be no room in my life for negative self-talk.

I had my list of “self-love” (which took me forever to write because it is so foreign to me,) my list of positive songs (to which I am adding the Moulin Rouge Soundtrack,) but there is also a moment-by-moment decision to invite positive energy (God’s love) into my life, and conscious repel negativity.

It has started in my home. When my kids get into fight with one another or get into their own negative (aka whiny/angry) moods, we sit down, close our eyes, and imagine God’s love repelling all the negativity away. We grab our anger in our hand, we imagine it there and talk about all that is in it…then we let it go, watch it float away, and be consumed by God’s love.

This has become a very powerful exercise for me. At first (and sometimes still) it seems a little silly to me, but it helps me consciously aware of what I am letting in to the Lisa bubble. I don’t always have control of what is happening in my life, but I have control over how I let it affect me.

Higher Power

Talking about my personal beliefs in a Higher Power is difficult. I often don't because I am certain I will be judged for the manner in which I seek a deeper relationship with the Divine. I have found that in creating a list of what my Higher Power is, it often starts with a list of what my HP is not.

So…here's taken a step out of my comfort zone. (You may need to download Hebrew Font to read)



I believe in ~yhla, Elohiym. The plurality of God. The God of Judaism, Islam, and Christianity.



I believe in hwhy, pronounce Adonay, also translated as Jehovah, or Yahweh- translated as the "the existing ONE" from adown (!wda) meaning master OR husband.


 
In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.

In Genesis, God is referred to Elohiym, the plural form. Later, in GEN 1:26, it says, "Let US make man after our image" referring to the plurality of God. Later when on, there becomes a separation, and Elohiym is Adonay – from the plural to the singular.

And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep.

The words for FORM and VOID are Tohuw and Bohuw, UNREALITY and EMPTY.

DARKNESS is Choshek, a secret place. Whereas Tohuw and Bohuw are NOUNS (states of being) Choshek is a VERB – a state of doing.

DEEP is Ehowm - derivative of Huwm, meaning discomfort, confusion.

Then the feminine word for BREATH is used, and this breath of Eloyhim moved (Rachaph, meaning relaxed), on the face of the waters. Waters, the Hebrew word Mayhim, meaning confusion…Mayhem.

The BREATH RELAXED THE MAYHEM.

And God said, let there be light, and there was light.

Again, a feminine word OWR, in the NOUN form meaning light, in the verb form meaning illumination.

And the plurality of God, said let there be light, and the mayhem was illuminated.

This is how I feel about my relationship with God.

That there was a state of unreality and emptiness, and that within them was a secret place. Deep, discomfort and confusion. Then the breath of God relaxed the confusion, and moved over the mayhem. Eloyhim said let there be light, and the confusion was illuminated.

This is the Genesis of my relationship with God.



On rereading, it may seem hard to follow my thought process, but I really wanted to share this.

 

To Do List

I'm sitting here thinking of all the things I want to be different in 2011. I believe you must have a vision of your life to affect change, so I have a laundry list of things I want to be better.

It's overwhelming.

Completely.

I don't even know where to start. I need to get my financial house in order after my husband has been unemployed for a year, plus medical bills, we're on shaky ground.

I want to lose weight. For months, I had great momentum, but now I'm faltering…standing still.

I want more energy. The only thing that will help me have more energy is to get more exercise, but its hard to do when you feel exhausted all the time. My doctor wanted me to get some blood tests three months ago and I still haven't gone in to get them.

So, in praying about these things, the answer I have heard is, "Seek first the kingdom of heaven."

That if I put my spiritual path before all things, everything else will fall into place.

My vision for 2011 is that I grow closer in my relationship of God As I Understand Him. This is a lot different than probably you understand God. I was at a meeting last week and I hear d quite a few people talk about "Coming to believe that a power greater than yourself could restore you to sanity." To believe in this power greater than yourself you must first make a start. That start means picking some power greater than yourself, even if it means a group of people whose insight you trust.

I heard many people whose recovery and spirituality I honor talk about making a list in early recovery of what they wanted their God to be, and deciding then, that their Higher Power is that. In my years of sobriety my list has gotten long, some things have been crossed off, some have been added, some have been taken for granted.

The first "to do" for 2011 is to make a list of what my Higher Power is so I can focus on improving my relationship God.

I'm looking forward to it!

Sacrifice

Just a quick thought for the day.

Thank you for the prayers…I could feel them, and it made me stronger to know I was not alone.

As I was praying about my sugar addiction, I had an image of Abraham willing to sacrifice his son. It made me think of how dear sugar is to me, and how it ultimately serves to separate me from God, because I turn to sugar for peace, instead of my Higher Power.

I imagined myself placing a bowl of refined sugar on an altar, and offering it to God as a sacrifice…so that I may grow closer to The Divine.

That is my offering; to take away my difficulties that I may better do Thy will.


 
Love,

Peaceful.

Intuition & Now

When you tap into your intuition, it unfailingly leads you to the next right thing.

My intuition may broadly guide me in a direction, but intuition is very specific in guiding me to the next right thing. Sometimes its cleaning out a cupboard. Sometimes its calling a friend. Sometimes its saying yes or saying no.

The key is to take a moment…breathe…and ask your still, small, inner voice , "Now what?" Remembering to pause and be guided by spirit is also the best way I have find to connect with RIGHT NOW.

I was driving down the street and a friend I had been thinking of for the last week popped into my head. I knew I needed to call her, that something was "up" with her. I called her number and it rang and rang. I decided to just let it keep ringing "until something happened." (This is exactly what I thought.)

Finally she answered, confused. Her phone had been disconnected for a month and she didn't know how my call had gotten through.


"Apparently," I said, "You must have really needed it."

Finding Who I Am

I was in a meeting today and someone mentioned how grateful she was that when she was in a meeting she could be herself. I felt so sad, because I haven't been able to be myself anywhere in so long.

Why is that?

True Self

"How can you get very far

If you don't know Who You Are

How can you do what you ought

If you don't know What You've Got

And if you don't know Which To Do

Of all the things in front of you

Then what you'll have when you are through

Is just a mess without a clue

Of all the best that can come true

If you know What and Which and Who"

From the Tao of Pooh

A Poem

Lisa Dietrich - Rumi

In the morning I was a Buddhist, in the afternoon I was seeking Kabbalah, and the evening brings a poem by Rumi, a Sufi Mystic that lived 800 years ago.

Higher Power

I'm reading a book called, The Wisdom to Know The Difference by Eileen Flanagan and it's such a great book.

The Unseen Path

God has carved a path for me; I just cannot see it from where I stand.

At The Bottom

The financial pain my family has been suffering keeps getting exponentially worse. Our house is in foreclosure, I’m being sued for $20,000 in medical bills, and because of the foreclosure and medical bills, I am now being denied my student loans.

I’m a little overwhelmed. I also decided, however, that I should view this as an opportunity to get my financial life in order. I guess the other option is to end up homeless.

Staying optimistic is the challenge. God Could and Would if He were Sought.

These are results of my decisions over the past year and a half. Fear-based decisions, self-will run riot. I’m not a victim of any of this, and one step at a time, with a lot of prayer, this is the beginning of a new chapter in my life.

Self-Righteous Indignation

Sometimes something will set me off. Its almost as if because I caught someone in an error I have this "got you" moment, then I find I am filled with self-righteous indignation.

Dictionary.com defines self-righteous as

"confident of one's own righteousness, esp. when smugly moralistic and intolerant of the opinions and behavior of others."

And indignation as

"strong displeasure at something considered unjust, offensive, insulting, or base; righteous anger."

Here I sit in my own self-righteous indignation, so deeply immersed that I cannot concentrate on my statistics homework.

I found Kellevision, "Musings on mental health by a licensed therapist"

There were some interesting thoughts on self-righteous indignation. First, that people (I) focus on what isn't "fair" what people "should be doing." That sounds a lot like the tapes that play in my mind. Her advice?

"Why shouldn't we distinguish when people aren't doing things "correctly", or the way they "should" be done, or the "fair" way? For two reasons:

1. Because it is not real. They aren't doing it that way. They are doing it "wrong" or in a way they "shouldn't" or "unfairly". That is the reality. That is what's happening. Expecting them to do something else just sets you up to be frustrated and angry.
   
2. Because it makes us unhappy. I always ask people, "how much time and energy have you invested in being upset about this? What could you have done with that time and energy instead? Most have invested a lot of both. And for what? Is this issue really that important?"
   

"By pointing out the errors of someone else we are attempting to position ourselves as better than them. People with low self esteem, people who are unhappy in their lives, people who are frustrated with where they are in life are most susceptible to self-righteous indignation."

This is very true about my own perspective. I feel insecure about myself, so I jump at an opportunity to feel superior. False Pride.

In 12-step programs we learn that pride is one of the seven deadly sins, and the death of pride is slow, painful, and it starts on the inside. How to remove this defect of character? Become entirely ready, and humbly ask. God could and would if He were sought.

God Can and Will

“God could and would if He were sought.” Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, How It Works

Today that was my mantra. God could and would if He were sought. In Alcoholics Anonymous we are taught to believe in a Power Greater Than Ourselves, but too often I over think that Power. I pontificate, complicate, and ruminate. I never keep it simple.

Today, after one of the worst days in a very long time, I felt like everything was hopeless, a wise woman reminded that God COULD and WOULD if He were sought. Sometimes its hard to have faith, but later I heard someone share about the miracles in their own life, and it reminded that miracles are indeed possible.